I never been to a therapist because...
I have a lot of respect for therapists and the work they do, but I want to talk about my own life and my own experience when it comes to stress, trauma, mental health, and emotional well-being. I have never been to a therapist because in my society going to a therapist is not seen as normal. It is taken as a sign that a person has a serious mental problem, not stress or emotional pain. And that fear of being judged by family, friends and people stops many of us from even thinking about asking for help. And being a man made it harder for me to think about therapy, because my ego was big and I believed that men are supposed to handle everything on their own, fix their own life, and never admit that they need help. And on top of that, there is still very little awareness about mental health and emotional well-being in my society.
Whenever I was dealing with stress, fear, or past trauma, I tried to solve it on my own because this is what I was taught to do and this is what I have seen in my family and society. And, this is how both genders, especially men, are expected to handle these things by themselves without asking for help or talking about what is going on inside them. I started looking for answers about what was going on with me mentally and emotionally. So, I began watching videos, reading articles, and listening to my elders, and all of these kept telling me different things and showing me different directions, and that made me believe I had to fix my problems by myself. So, I went to what I thought was the ultimate therapist of all, God. I went to the temple many times and talked to God like a normal person, saying fix my life, fix my problems, fix everything, tell me why I am like this and what I should do, because at that point I felt God had to figure it out for me. And this did not solve everything for me.....but talking openly to God about everything made me realize that talking helps, opening up helps, and I took it seriously.
After that, I started expressing what was going on inside me through creativity, because I have been creative since my childhood and it felt like the only place where I did not have to pretend. I started writing my thoughts, I started writing my fear, I started writing the negativity I was holding inside. After that, I started drawing and making art, using it as a way to express emotions that I could not explain in words. Then I started recording my voice and listening to myself, noticing how I sounded and what I was really feeling. All of these, over time, started taking me out of my depression and constant stress, and helped me feel like I was getting back to myself.
It took me almost one year, and that period was the toughest and also the most happening part of my life. During that time, I learned many things about myself by facing my thoughts, my fear, and my stress every day. My creativity slowly took me out of the depression and stress I was going through, not in one day, but step by step. I started seeing life differently, seeing that there are many possibilities ahead, I became hopeful about my future and I started enjoying this hope. That phase of my life also made me understand that simple things matter much more in life than fancy things, and that understanding changed the way I look at myself and the world. Even though I love few fancy things, but I will write about it some other day ;)
This is not only about me. There are many men and women who are dealing with mental and emotional stress every day, but they never reach out for help for many reasons. Sometimes help is not available, sometimes they feel uncomfortable opening up, and many times they simply have no one to talk to. That is why I encourage people to find their own way to express what they are holding inside, and creativity can be one of those ways when professional help is not reachable. I also know that not everyone is creative, and that is okay. What matters is finding any healthy way to face what you are going through instead of hiding it. Everyone deserves a way to feel better, and everyone deserves support, in whatever way they can find it.
Than You For Reading